My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
Today, I asked my phone “Siri, why am I still single?” and it activated the front camera.
I was reading a great book about an immortal cat the other day. It was impossible to put down.
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him with my gun. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
My grief counselor died. He was so good, I don’t even care.
I love dark humor, if you couldn't already tell.
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